Think About it Thursdays!!!!!: LJ Knight's "But I'm a Good Woman! Shouldn't He Be Good To Me??"

Happy Thursday!!!! One more day to go!!!!!  This week dragged and dragged, but thank God it's almost over because I am looking forward to the weekend.  Anywhooo.  I was forwarded an e-mail the other day that I wanted to share with all of you.  Enjoy and let us know what you think...


by LJ Knight on Monday September 27th 2010"But I’m a Good Woman! Shouldn’t He Be Good To Me???"  This is a question women of all races, backgrounds and ages have asked themselves. We think that if we treat our man well and love him with all of our hearts, he will have no other option than to do the same for us.  He will want to do right by us.  That is what reciprocation is about. The problem here is that most men feel entitled to a good woman and refuse to return the same actions toward her.  They do not feel that they have to necessarily be a good guy in order to have a good woman. Here are a few reasons they are convinced they don’t have to modify their behavior.

Is He Ready?

A man has to be mentally ready for accepting a good woman into his life in order to know what to do with her. If he feels like he isn’t ready to be in a relationship with anyone, being open and honest, then there will be issues down the line. You will never feel like he is completely invested in the relationship. So, if he is not ready, then he will refuse to make any adjustments to his behavior. The woman is expected to deal with it and keep it moving. Is that a selfish way of behaving? Hell yes, but that is how a man’s mind works. They are more self-centered than women. So, many of their decisions and behaviors are a reflection of how they determined it will affect them.  “What about me?” is a strong principle in their thinking.  A woman could be giving the last bit of her energy and soul to him and he will not be cognizant of it because he is not yet ready to receive it.

Is He Capable? 

Not every man has the capability of accepting and loving a good woman. Some are far too selfish to give themselves. Others were not taught the skills necessary to love a woman the way she deserves. This could be for several reasons: Perhaps he has a strained relationship with the mother figure in his life, he never had a father figure to teach him how a man should love a woman, or you may be the first woman he has ever come across that truly cared for him so he has no idea how to receive you. Whatever the case, he may not be emotionally capable of giving the love that a good woman deserves.

Strong Sense Of Entitlement 

Men feel that they are entitled to a good woman regardless of their behavior. Good is how a woman is supposed to be in their minds. She is supposed to be virtuous, understanding and completely accepting of all of the issues and drama that he may come with.  It doesn’t matter how he behaves.  She is supposed to play her role regardless, because she is a woman. So, no matter how well you treat him, it won’t affect his behavior toward you. In his mind, you are behaving like you should. You are giving of yourself the way a good woman is supposed to. There is nothing significant about that to them.

Grass Is Greener Theory

He might be unable to accurately value her because in his mind, she may not be the cream of the crop. They may know that she is a good girl but also realizes that there are millions of other women in the world. One of these millions of women might be better than the good girl in some capacity.  Thinking like this is what makes a man unable to reciprocate the love that their woman gives them. With that being said, they have to leave their options open just in case they come across something better. Of course that does not always mean he will leave her to go test the waters. Some men might cheat or just drag her along without any real commitment. These thoughts make it impossible for him to be good no matter how loving his woman is.

Be Careful What You Ask For

He may think that he wants a good woman because he thinks he is supposed to. However, he may have no idea what to do with her or how to treat her. More importantly, he has no clue how to love her.  So, he wants what he is not necessarily mature enough to handle and accept. He wants a blessing but has no idea what to do with it. Unfortunately, some people ask for blessings when they are not necessarily ready for them mentally. They receive that blessing and have no idea what to do with it or how to maintain it. So, they lose it. That is what happens when you ask for things  you are not ready for.

 

Work it Out Wednesdays~ featuring~ Tiffany Henderson

Happy Wednesday!!!  Just two more days until the weekend.
Today Tiffany Henderson informs us about how to stay healthy during this fickle transformation to Fall.  Enjoy!

I don’t even have to ask to know that you’re enjoying the beautiful, not-too-hot, not-too-cold weather that comes along with the change of the season. You crack those windows, open the sliding glass door, and think Thank goodness I can finally turn off my air conditioner. Now my electric bill won’t be so high. Yes, Diva! Enjoy the feeling of your hair blowing in the wind, as you soak up the summer turning fall breeze. But, as you do so, please remember that this time of year is infamous for the spread of disgusting germs, especially those that cause the flu virus.

Last year, the nation was hit with a strain of the influenza virus known as the H1N1 or swine flu. This outbreak lead to the first flu pandemic in more than 40 years and claimed the lives of many adults and children. According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), this years virus is expected to hit hard again and it is highly recommended for everyone 6 months of age and older to get a flu vaccine.

October begins the flu season and is literally just days away. So, be sure to schedule an appoint with your doctor and/or local clinic so you can get vaccinated. Also, remember to cover your mouth and nose when you cough or sneeze. Dress appropriately for the weather. Even though some days may still be very warm, summer is over. And please always, always, always WASH YOUR HANDS! That’s all for now.
Have a wonderful, weather wise Wednesday!
References: www.cdc.gov/flu


 Tiffany Henderson graduated from Rutgers University’s School of Nursing in 2007. She currently works as a Registered Nurse for Cooper University Hospital and Holy Redeemer Health Services. Tiffany can be contacted via email at
mstiffanylh@yahoo.com or you can contact her on Facebook.

True Expression Tuesdays ~Spotlighting~ South African designer Anisa Mpungwe

D.I.V.A.S!!!!!!!!!

So all of the fashionistas are just getting off of New York’s Fashion Week high and for those of us who live in the South Jersey/Philadelphia area, we look forward to The October Fashion Week.   When we hear news from Fashion Week, we tend to only hear about the larger lables and the next new trend.  Unfortunatley sometimes designers of Color are not given the same spotlight for their extremely creative and bold designs.  So today I want to  spotlight an absolutely fabulous designer by the name of Anisa Mpungwe who is the genius behind loin cloth & ashes. 

Mpungwe, a Tanzanian-born and South Africa resident, received great attention after she won the ELLE new talent competition in 2008 and has since been taking over the fashion world.  She creates a feel of sexy and edgy with her modern designs.  For more information about her collection check out her site  at http://www.loinclothandashes.com/lca-collection.php

We have to support our Designers ladies!!!!!!!   

Road to Financial Freedom ~ "Putting a Plan Into Play"!

Happy Monday to all!! For the past 2 weeks, DIVA’s we have been focusing on learning to secure & save our cash. Today, DIVA Rules wanted to set up an actual budget. As we all know, it is easier said, than done- so below will outline a actual budget so you DIVAs’ can model or modify…..

With all of this talk about 401’s, credit scores, savings accounts and where to put what, a sample budget outline will (hopefully) be sure to ease your nerves a bit about being more wise and conscious about how we can see our money grow.

Income: 35,000 (salary)/Monthly: 2,000	Utilities (Month):	Wants:	Savings Goal:
	Cable: $60.00	Entertainment: $100.00	Week 1: $50.00
Rent: $500.00	Gas: $50.00	Clothes: $100.00	Week 2: $15.00
Insurance: $ 150.00	Electric:$60.00		Week 3: $20.00
Food: $200.00	Water: $25.00		Week 4: $20.00
Total:  $850.00	Total: $195.00	Total: $200.00	Total (month): $105.00

The grand total for the month is $1350.00. With this there is $650.00 left*. (If there is a credit card{s} bill you are trying to pay off, subtract the money use from your “Wants” List).  You should always increase the amount of savings each time you have finished paying off one of your debt(s).  **remember this is just a sample so you can put in your income and map out your expenses and start to contribute to your savings and your future**

Regardless of your income, we all can do this!!!

Please share your thoughts on this budget, and what we can add or take away to allow us to build our way to financial freedom!!!

SIRve it Up Saturdays ~featuring~ J. Mark Edwards

I hope everyone is enjoying this absolutley beautiful Saturday!  I'm so excited to introduce today's SIR.  He has helped to make me who I am and has always schooled me about men and life (to be a fly on the wall for some of those conversations lol).  Introducing, J.Mark Edwards, better known as my daddy.    

When I was asked to contribute some of my thoughts to this DIVAs blog, I had every intention on commenting on how I wish I could get our young men to get as serious about life as you young women apparently are, but these young knuckleheads frustrate me so much, that I didn’t want to subject you ladies to my potty-mouth.  Instead, I want to give you just a little advice about empowerment.  As you are regularly reading and contributing to this blog, I assume you are looking to better your existence; spiritually, professionally/financially, and from a health perspective (both physical and mental).  I want to touch on these (in no particular order).

• Spiritually – Don’t underestimate the power of faith.  If you don’t have a religious base, I recommend trying to develop one.  Especially during the tough times, being anchored by faith can sometimes be the one positive that keeps you going.

•  Health (Mental) – Some folks downplay the mental health aspect of their lives.  I don’t know anyone who hasn’t needed to vent.  Venting is good.  I recommend everyone have regular chats with a mental health professional.  We sometimes fear sharing our frailties with our best friends and loved ones, so an objective stranger could prove to be helpful in making sense of and giving perspective to some of the issues that are causing us stress.  Holding that stress in is not healthy, nor productive.  Give it a try.  What could it hurt.

·         Health (Physical) – Regardless what level of physical fitness you possess, we can all do a little better.  If you are a couch potato, get out and walk around the block.  That small endeavor may not seem like much, but combined with a healthier diet (more fruit and veggies, lean meat, less fat and sugar), as I tell my friends, “It’s more exercise than you got yesterday”  Eventually, you work you way up to 2 times around the block .  Maybe you build up to a run.  Maybe the wear and tear of the pavement is too much for your joints, find a pool and do a lap or 2.  Either way, it’s likely an improvement to your current exercise regiment.  You will be well on your way to strengthening the physical side to match the stronger spiritual and emotional you.

·         Finances - While Mega Millions and Power Ball has worked for a handful of individuals, getting the best education you can will put you in better position to “get paid” than someone without the same drive.  I’ve heard some recent grads who are between jobs question whether it was worth time, effort and COST to obtain a degree.  This is extremely short-sighted thinking.  Not the type of thinking I expect of anyone reading this blog.  This job environment is arguably the worst our country has ever seen.  To that end, please keep in mind, this economy WILL recover, and jobs WILL become available.  When this economy and job market turn for the better ( and no, I’m not smoking anything illegal, I know we could be a year away from signs of real recovery), those who are the best prepared will be the 1^st to get scooped up.  As for being prepared, if you are between jobs, while you should continue to hit the pavement in pursuit of employment, I highly recommend upgrading your academic resume while you have the time.  An undergraduate degree is great!  A Master’s Degree is better, and a Doctorate is the home run. 

Surround yourselves with positive, uplifting, motivated and inspiring people.  Don’t sell yourselves short.  I truly believe you are reading this blog because you want to make a difference in your lives and subsequently in our community.  Now, if only we could figure out a way to bring the bruvahs along with you….

J. Mark Edwards is the Head of North American Funding for JPMorgan Chase Bank.  His daily responsibilities include managing JPM’s Reserve Account at the Federal Reserve Bank, coordinating the bank’s Global USD Book, and meeting with clients when Global Finance/Short Term Sector expertise is needed.  He is an active member of 100 Black Men of NY, Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, and a past honoree of the Harlem YMCA Black Achievers in Industry.

Fierce Fridays~ featuring ~Carolyn B. Coles

Good Friday, ALL! For Fierce Fridays, today's OD (original DIVA) is someone that has influenced my life in a positive way and was (& still is) a gret support system to me growing up....Ms. Coles offers some advice on her perspective of how DIVAs' can lead a fierce lifestyle, without compromising our inner strength, desires and goals....read on...and share your feelings about this topic..

To my young fierce DIVAs:

TGIF! I wasn’t quite sure what to write and share with you as a woman of experience.  I am 46 years old and still a work in progress.  I can tell you that life goes by very fast, I remember my 25^th birthday as if it was yesterday.  So embrace each day, each experience and each relationship; focus and remember to keep your goals and desires at the forefront of your life.

When I was 25 years old, I developed these five phases of life that I wanted to use to shape my life.  Unfortunately, I lost sight of these five phases after making bad choices in potential mates; delaying my education and compromising my desires.  My young DIVAs, it doesn’t matter that you make some mistakes in life—what’s important is that you get up, dust yourself off and start all over again.   

I believe these phases and suggestions are beneficial to having a successful life filled with stability, growth and happiness.  I wish you continued strength and intelligence in your decision-making:

Phase One:  Develop your personal and professional goals. 

·         Personal Goals:

–         Develop a personal relationship with God and try to keep negativity and drama out of your life.

–         Leave your parents home, get your own place or with a roommate.

–         Create your criteria for a qualified mate and stick to it, don’t compromise. When dating, use the same tools as if you were interviewing someone for a job.  Check their background, get references by meeting their family and friends and gauge how they treat themselves and you.

–         Join social organizations and vacation around entertainment festivals in other cities to extend your reach in meeting a qualified mate.

·         Professional Goals:

–         Obtain an education so that you can obtain a career to provide financial security over the course of your life.

–         Get a job that is focused on growth potential.

–         Join professional organizations, network and attend professional conferences to accelerate your career and extend your reach in meeting a qualified mate.

Phase Two:  You found a qualified mate and are in a committed relationship.

·         Make sure he has his own independence and financial security.

·         You are evenly yoked in your religious beliefs.

·         Do not live together.

·         Take vacations together and work on your careers.

Phase Three:  Marriage.

·         Keep God at the head of your life and in your marriage.

·         Be married for awhile before you have children.

·         Buy property together, develop retirement plans and save money.

·         Develop hobbies in common.

·         Take vacations together and work on your careers.

Phase Four:  Starting a family.

·         Turn that guest room into a nursery.

·         Buy a bigger house.

·         Share the next 20 years raising your family and developing memories together.

Phase Five:  Empty Nest Time!

·         Send kids to college.

·         Get them out of your house and prepared to start their own lives.

·         Buy a smaller house.

·         Prepare financially for retirement and travel with your mate.

**If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.**

My name is Carolyn B. Coles; I am divorced with no children.  I am working full-time as an Executive Assistant and attending college part-time to complete my Bachelor’s degree.  I live and work in Charlotte, NC, enjoy taking trips and event planning. If you would like to reach her for planning events, or questions please email CColes172@aol.com

Think About It Thursdays~ featuring~ Crystal Cummings

I am pleased to introduce today's post...I have known this young lady (DIVA) for over 10 years and seen her progress lovely through rough and right...and she brings great insight into getting involved in our community..Please read and take in stride...

Have you ever asked: Who’s the idiot that planned this road? What idiot chose this street for the bus?       

That idiot is me…well, not exactly. I work as a transportation planning consultant; my job entails assisting government agencies in making transportation decisions by recommending projects that address identified problems cost-effectively and with minimal impact. Public involvement is by far the most interesting aspect of what I do.

Whether its 3 or 500 people that attended, the common thread in public meetings I’ve planned is little to no participation by persons of color. A colleague explained it best: how do you convince people who have been historically disenfranchised that their opinion suddenly matters?

Maybe this statement applies to our parents and grandparents, but what about us? It’s discouraging that in my years of experience I have not seen a young black professional at a public meeting. It’s disappointing as I would hope our four years in the ivory tower of education have taught us, if nothing else, that our opinion matters.

Why is it so important for you participate? For starters, your voice doesn’t end at the voting booth. Transportation projects comprise a significant portion of our nation’s spending. A key tenet of President Obama’s economic recovery plan is funding transportation projects that generate jobs. As of September 2010, $38.1 Billion has been obligated to transportation projects as part of recovery efforts; billions of dollars are still in the pipeline. Projects being proposed under the transportation program are pivotal and will collectively change our transportation landscape. Additional money is going towards improving our existing infrastructure and implementing progressive programs, like high speed rail, in hopes of making us more competitive with other nations. By not showing up, you empower the few that do to wield greater influence. If you don’t represent your interests, no one else will.

It seems unfathomable that your single opinion can effectuate so much change, but major decisions are not made without public input. It’s the law! Know that people like me painstakingly document public comments, discussing them at length with the sole purpose of making sure everyone’s opinion is addressed and considered in decisionmaking. In fact, I have been involved in projects (admittedly not all) that were swayed by the public.

Perhaps you’re too busy being the fierce young professional you are to attend a meeting. In the spirit of D.I.V.A. Rules, however, I challenge you to exercise your civic duty. Even if you’re not interested in attending transportation-related meetings, attend one for your local school district, planning commission, or City Council. We need your educated opinion – give an hour of your time and shape how your community will look in 2, 20, 50 years. You may thank yourself for it when you’re 70 and need to ride the bus to bingo.

.......A great starting point for finding meetings is to sign up for email updates at your local transit agency, planning department, and metropolitan planning organization. There are routine monthly meetings as well as project specific meetings, the latter of which the author believes are generally more interesting.

Crystal Cummings is a graduate of the University of Pennsylvania (MCP ’08, BA ’07) and currently works as a Transportation Planner in Raleigh, NC. For questions or additional guidance on locating a public meeting in your community, you may contact her at crystal_cummings@urscorp.com or msccummings@gmail.com.

Work it Out Wednesdays~ featuring~ Jenna Anderson: "Get Out and Smell the Fresh Air"

Today one of my besties and truly a woman who I greatly respect and admire, Jenna Anderson, gives us a new take on our health installment and reminds us to count our many blessings.

First off, thank you to D.I.V.A. Blog for inviting me to write.  And I apologize in advance because this is the beginning of me babbling on.

Being asked to write about health is an interesting request, it should be easy because working in healthcare, it’s my career, specifically working in pediatrics as an occupational therapist- don’t worry, most people don’t know what occupational therapy (OT) is, so I’ll tell you a bit about it.  OT is a very general term with an overall goal of helping individuals to gain, regain, or sustain skills to be as independent as possible. I work with kids so it’s lots of fun, to the naked eye, I play with kids all day, but underlying are much more complicated sensory and neurological systems working together.  Basically, kids learn through play and imagination, it’s not always sitting at a desk in class.  I love to share stories about the kids I work with because they are so unique and truly “special” as in individuals, not necessarily “special” in a disability sense.  I hope you enjoy this brief story about a 5 year old boy I have the joy of working with.

“Get outside and enjoy the fresh air”… this is easier said than done for some.  Working with kids with special needs, this saying takes a whole other aspect to “going outside” or “smelling the fresh air.”  Recently I asked a 5 year old child I work with how he is enjoying playing soccer for the first time.  His response was as expected initially, something along the lines of, “I like it to kick the ball and run around,” but then he opened my eyes with the rest of his response.  He added that he “hates the smell” of soccer, meaning the grass and park-like smell I assume.  He also said he “hates the hard grass, bright sun, and whistle blowing.”  At this point I realized that this child isn’t able to enjoy being outside and being a “regular” kid.  As opposed to enjoying the experience of learning to play soccer, making friends, and being part of a team, he is distracted by his hyper-sensitive responses of his sensory system (smell, sight, and touch).  It’s times like this that I have to re-evaluate my personal complaints, I can’t stand my boss, it’s hot out, I don’t want to clean the house, we all know the list can go on; Anyways, in the grand scheme of things, I have nothing to complain about and neither do you.  I guess in coming full circle with my babbling on, the moral of my brief story is to think twice before you complain about life because at least you have the ability to “get outside to enjoy the fresh air…” 

Jenna Anderson is graduate of Quinnipiac University in Connecticut and is currently a Pediatric Occupational Therapist in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Road to Financial Freedom~ Building a Savings Account

Hello DIVAs'!  Hope you are having a pleasant Monday! To begin our next installment on regaining (or for many of us is starting to build) our finances I want to start off by introducing a powerful book that you DIVAs' should consider purchasing, by Catey Hill called "SHOO, Jimmy Choo! The Modern Girl's Guide to Spending Less and Saving More".  This book is an excellent read & covers everything from how to tackle taxes to paying for student loans, and EVERYTHING in between! I have been reading this book in pieces, writing notes and have been evaluating my spending and most importantly- starting to concentrate on SAVING!

Lets' talk Savings!!!

• 401k
• This type of account can be setup through your employer in which you can personally setup a contribution to that you want to deposit each paycheck (& with this account your employer can contribute a percentage that can match what you deposit)
• If your employer does not offer a 401k (or 403b) account try opening a Roth IRA account. IRA is an account that you can setup through a company like Fidelity. There are two types of  IRAs'- a traditional or Roth. Both, Catey Hill and Suze Orman recommends getting a Roth IRA, since this is taxed dollars and you can withdraw from this account at anytime without being taxed or penalized. You can also rollover money easily to another account like from an old 401k (403b); which makes a smoother transition if you make a career move.  If you are setting this account up through fidelity; by going online to www.fidelity.com can guide through a step-by-step process on which will be best for you, as well as the projected amount of money that you will by the time you are ready for retirement.
•  Stock Markets
• These type of accounts, like a CD (certificate of deposit), mutual funds, money marketing account can be setup through a credit union, financial institutions or bank. This option is more for short term savings, if you have a certain amount of money you want to save for an event or big purchase-these type of accounts help. DIVAs' don't get caught up with paying interest...these accounts you pay interest on to keep the account in whichever financial institution you decide.  To explore these options further contact a credit union or financial institution(s) like Bankrate.com, HSBC, TIAA-CREF. 
• Savings Account
• If you just want an option to put away money for long-term and begin to develop an emergency fund or want to feel good about having a little "cushion", check with you current bank about opening a savings account (which would be at no expense to open), in which you can transfer funds from your current checking. Another great way to save is setting up a direct savings account through INGdirect. By setting up this account you can connect it to your current checking account to set your desired amount of money to be deposited as well as how often.  You can set this up online by going to www.INGdirect.com. 

DIVA's, yes there are options out there to help us (& there are more), but with these basic options I'm sure we can begin to start somewhere to guide us to "financial freedom". If there is a savings option that works for you please share... DIVAs' the power is in spreading awareness to each other and strengthening ourselves the best way we can..

Fierce Fridays~ featuring~ Cheryl Warren

Good Friday to all...Yes we made it another week! Today a woman I am extremely proud of and is my true hero has left us with an inspiring message to all Young, Fabolous, and Up-in-Coming DIVAs' to live by..when you read challenge yourself to see yourself in a different light.....

Have you ever wondered why a women in their mid-thirties and never married are pitied and scorned more than single men of the same age? How many times have you heard a family member say to you “Are you seeing someone? Or when are you thinking about getting married.  I was raised in the 60’s and 70’s and this was an expectation for all women of color to be married and have a child by the age of 21. When I graduated high school, at the young age of 18 most of my friends were getting married and having children right after high school.  Being single was considered a downgrade to your personal characteristics. Have attitudes changed in the current era? People seem less likely to use negative terms such as old maid or spinster when referring unmarried women. We now know that women are more likely to be single in the current era, due to lack of available partners.
When I was 20 years of age, I found myself married with a brand new baby, which was not uncommon in the 80’s. My life situation was not alarming since it was an acceptable way of life. My advice to all young women is to live your life to the fullest. Get your education and follow your dreams. Do not let society dictate how you should live your life.  Most single women my age are generally well adjusted and are often quite satisfied with their single status. I not saying to say single forever, however don’t think that something is wrong with you if you have not found the perfect life by age 30. When I mean perfect life according to society standards is "husband, wife, two children, white picket fence and a dog".  I have asked single women my age about their status on being single with no children and if they ever regretted being single? The majority of them said no. They have adjusted to their lifestyles and most are very financially stable.   Just look at the divorce rate and unmarried mothers raising children themselves. I was divorced at a young age and was forced to raised two children on my own. It was not an easy task, but I made it through with a great support system. I love my children and would do it again if I had to. 

Cheryl Warren is currently a Customs Resolutions Manager at TIAA-CREF. She will be graduating with an undergraduate degree next year (that took her over 10 years to obtain).  She enjoys watching vintage movies and traveling with family and friends. She has two grown children and is a grandmother of 2 beautiful girls.  She considers herself as living a very full life as a single woman. She can be reached at cwarren29@bellsouth.net or cwarren@tiaa-cref.org

Think About It Thursdays: The New Jersey Black Issues Convention

Happy Thursday!!!!  Just one more day!!! 

A colleague of mine, Atnre Alleyne, recently asked me to complete a survey for the New Jersey Black Issues Convention.  The primary aim of the survey is to identify the most pertinent issues that the black community faces in New Jersey in socio-economic and political arenas. However, I had never heard of it so I decided to take a look.  Read on about this great organization and please support Atnre by completing the survey.  The findings of the survey will be will be used as a tool in NJ BIC's discussions during the conference to help shape an action agenda.  So get your voice heard!

“The New Jersey Black Issues Convention, Inc., is rapidly emerging as the representative state-wide organization promoting the Unity, Survival, and Progress of all Black residents of New Jersey. We are committed to serving the needs of our Member Organizations and the constituencies they represent.

As a Member Organization of N.J. BIC, you acquire immediate access to state-wide resources and linkages that few organizations could command individually. You will gain access to research data that will broaden your understanding of issues affecting the Black community. You will gain the opportunity to exchange information and organization of viewpoints with representatives of other predominantly Black state-wide organizations, and you will gain access to a most powerful forum for the dissemination of your organization's views. Through N.J. BIC, you will also gain access to national Black resources and to national Black leaders.

Seminars, conferences, and panels for Minority organization officials are convened by resource organizations to clarify issues and to develop workable delivery systems with respect to the public policy priorities of the community. Because of N.J. BIC's organizational clout and the broad-based resources of its friends and supporters, government agencies on all levels respond affirmatively to its members' requests for technical assistance programs and for informational workshops. By these means, N.J. BIC is able to keep its membership current on trends, developments and legislation relating to major issues.

Moreover, you will want to participate with your organizational colleagues and your neighbours as part of the Action Alert N.J. BIC Communications Network established under the auspices of the Black Leadership Family Plan, sponsored by the Congressional Black Caucus.”

For more information about this organization visit http://njbic.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=67&Itemid=66

Here's the link for the survey: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NJBIC2010 .  The survey is intended for African American residents of NJ.

Work It Out Wednesdays~ Denisha of D.I.V.A Rules

Happy “Hump” Day Divas’- Let’s first be thankful we made it to today and hopefully I greet you all in great spirits and positivity!!!

Now for this installment of Work-It-Out Wednesday; let’s do just that.  Developing a workout plan is never pleasant for some of us DIVA’s because it can be overwhelming and sometimes tedious. Whether you are trying to get some wiggle room in those jeans or drop some serious sizes…every DIVA can do this. Let’s establish a plan of action.

PLAN OF ACTION!

                Let’s consider our reason for wanting to get physically fit: To fit back into our clothes that are becoming too tight or to lower our blood pressure or risks for illnesses (like diabetes).

                Let’s get a goal. Whether you want to lose 5-15lbs in 8 weeks or 5-8 inches from our waist and hips in 10 weeks, keeping an ideal of where we want to be is a motivator.

                Let’s start to consider what options we have in achieving those goals: Our income can allow for a monthly gym membership/or professional class (like mixed martial arts, etc.) or We have a great park to utilize near our home (weather permitting), exercise DVDs or tapes at home, or magazines (Women’s Health, Self, or Fitness Magazine) with great Do-It-At-Home exercises that we can certainly do. *these magazines also have websites where you can search exercises on the web from your computer or phone*

                Let’s look at our schedule to see where we can fit in fitness: Starting twice a week is good for beginners, then gradually increasing a day or two to fit our fitness goals is good; maybe Mon/Wed/Fri or Tues/Thurs. schedule for 30-45min each exercise day is great for DIVA’s at this stage.

                Let’s keep track. I have recently found that keeping a record of what you do is great to hit your target fitness goal. This way you can see where you left off, what you did not do and may want to get to, or what you may need to add or subtract from your workout to achieve your goal.

                Let’s not forget what we eat. Eating contributes to majority of our weight gain or loss, by being conscious of getting our essentials (veggies, fruit, & protein-to name a few) can influence our target goals.

Let’s remember the key to everything.  STICKING TO IT!

I give love and props to those Divas’ who have been implementing a fitness schedule already, as you know it’s not easy trying to be FABOLOUS and VIVACIOUS, as we are! DIVA’s please share your fitness tips or words of encouragement so we can achieve together along our journey to fitness and health!

True Expressions Tuesday!!!!!!! ~featuring~ iLLSPiRE

Today we feature a group of creative young men who are on the road to taking fashion to another level.  We were able to get in touch with AJ of the up and coming line, iLLSPiRE.  Get to know their story and this line, its only going to get bigger!

iLLSPiRE came to life October of 2008 by two cousins from NJ, AJ & CJ. We felt that fashion at the time was becoming repetitive and all the labels had nothing to separate them from the rest, so we felt why not do our own thing and use the clothing to pass on a message also. 

The definition of iLLSPiRE is inspiring people to live more iLLer. iLLSPiRE is not just a clothing line, it is a way of life. 

Since we inspire people to be iLLer we bring things to the table that you may not be used to.  Our style could be described as the fresh prince meets the 21st century.  You can catch poets, skaters to dancers to sneaker heads sporting the apparel.  Since we launched our website (http://www.illspire.com/) we have then had our apparel put into stores in South Jersey, Central Jersey & North Jersey.  We have also been involved in fashion shows in Philly, South Jersey, North Jersey, New York.  We have also been blessed to have Rythm City of ABDC support/rep iLLSPiRE.  Since iLLSPiRE came into existance we have also gained a member, Mackie, who is a big asset to the team. 

Be prepared to see iLLSPiRE videos, fashion shows, sneaker events, photo shoots, and gatherings coming soon. 

Stay Cool. Live Fresh. Be iLL.
iLLSPiRE (c)2009

Check them out in this clip "A Black Man's Blues"

For more information about the line and these talented individuals, you can check them out at:
website: http://www.illspire.com/
twitter: @iLLSPiRE
facebook: ill spire
email: illspireinc@yahoo.com
contact #: 609 247 3589

Road to Financial Freedom: Part 1- Get A Grip ~featuring~ Jade of D.I.V.A Rules

Happy Monday D.I.V.A.s !!!!

Hope today brings you nothing but positivity, productivity, and possibility. We received great reviews about Dana’s post regarding financial independence. While everyone was so completely motivated to start anew and get our money right, me included, I found myself stuck with “How do I start????”. Well ladies look no further. The next three Monday installments will be your go to guide for starting your more financially conscientious lifestyle. Now many of us are going to be starting at different entry points. If you’re like me, somehow Bills (Loans, credit card, rent, Mixed Martial Arts- don’t even get me started) have become my significant other. Wherever you’re starting, we are going to work together to get us on the road to financial freedom. Feel free to chime in with some additional tips. Happy Saving!!!

If any of you don’t know Suze Orman, get to know her. She is a very financially savvy woman who has become an expert of saving money, making money, and growing money. According to her 2010 Financial To-Do List as shown in O Magazine there are three stages in gaining financial confidence. She refers to them as:

• Get A Grip: Where you are today- your current income, debt, etc.
• Find Hidden Savings: Growing what you have
• Build Security: Knowing where to put the money you save

Today we will tackle Get A Grip!!!!

Step 1
Track Your Spending: If your spending more than you’re making, then guess what, you will not save a thing. Sometimes spending gets away from us with all the many activities or events that make unexpectedly come up. But in order to start saving we have to get more diligent about this.

• 
  
  Action: Make sure to keep an accurate account register with you at all times. Additionally gather your credit card and bank statements and head to suzeorman.com. Use her Expense Sheet to get a picture of your monthly outflow

Step 2

Calculate Your Net Worth-Google search “net worth calculator” and input your information. This will show us our overall financial self and is a major key to financial security. What are our assets minus our debts.

Caution…. You may want to grab a glass of wine or something before doing this step, because sometimes the truth hurts.

• Action: Google search “net worth calculator” and input your information. Come to Jesus with what you see and take the time to make some necessary adjustments or financial plans.

Step 3

Check your Credit Profile- The importance of your credit score is beyond belief. Did you know that your credit score could influence you getting a job? Worse yet, a bad score will get you the highest interest rates on your credit cards and loans, etc.

 Caution…. Keep that wine flowing

• Action: Go to annualcreditreport.com to get your annual free credit reports. Yes it’s free. Look through the reports carefully to ensure all of your information is correct. Remember this number will proceed you in the financial world so make sure it truly is representative of you. Once you have reviewed and corrected, then go to myFICO to purchase your FICO credit report. This is not free (~$16) so make sure everything is correct before buying the FICO report.

Step 4
Cut Spending by 10 percent- I don’t have to tell you that the economy has changed, many of us are feeling the burden in some capacity. Just as the economy has changed, so to our habits must change. In order to save more (our ultimate goal), we need to spend less. Sound simple right? Lol

• Action: Take that great Expense sheet from Step 1 and burn it. Just playing. Take the sheet and circle or highlight every expense that is a want. Wants are things we truly do not need. So you will need to be honest with yourself. You may need shoes for work, but want Manolo’s. Once again make some necessary adjustment to either eliminate or reduce these costs.