Think About it Thursdays!!!!! ~ featuring D.I.V.A Rules

Today’s Topic : “Women, why are we targeted to change?”

Doesn’t it seem like when it comes to relationships between men and women that there is a growing market of books that target women to change themselves in order to find her “Knight and Shining Armor”? Well we D.I.V.A. creators felt as if this was the case. It is not to say that there are not any books that target men, but it definitely seems that our society depicts that there is something wrong with the woman. Though some of us do bring unncessary drama and emotional “baggage” to their relationships-what about the man, who may bring distrust or insecurities from a previous relationship.  In no way is this a male-bashing moment, but in order for healthy and beautiful relationships to form amongst our culture why aren’t there more “how-to” and “what-to-do” books about bringing us together and exploring how we can better trust one another via having open, honest, and sincere interactions.

In Hill Harper's book, The Conversation, he introspectively explores many issues concerning men and women and identifies those that tend to create barriers between us.  He argues, to which the title of his book eludes, that honest conversations are the missing link.  We recently had lunch with a male friend and discussed this topic.  He mentioned that as a man he is hesitant to have a no holds bar converation with a black woman in fear of her reaction.  Are we really that defensive or sensitive?  Are we really not ready to have these conversations?  Or is it that we have not been presented with the opportunity?  In order to hold each other accountable we have to call it spade for spade.  If someone is not living up to their end of the deal, we need to be able to tell our significant other without fear of the repurcussion. 

If we have failed one another, according to Hill Harper, why does it still appear that women are strained to look within? Accountability and being conscious of one’s actions and thoughts is powerful for any individual to practice, but it’s not only Black women that are not doing things correctly. Women have been trying to equal the playing field since Women’s Suffrage in the 1900’s. And it appears that with we are still fighting to stay above water. We could be biased, but this how we are experiencing it and what we feel as Black women. What do you think? How has the love experience been for you? How do you see it/feel it?